Domestic Violence is gradually becoming common in our society. Every week,there is always a story of man that killed his wife or a woman that tried killing the husband. This unsavory phenomenon has eaten deep into the roots of many homes today. A few days ago, a video of a young woman who was given a black eye by her husband went viral. As if on cue,another video surfaced the following day,this time around about a young man beating up his girlfriend. But what can be done to stem this strong tide against families & relationships? Today’s woman will be looking at this from the man’s perspective. Lets truly know why some men resort to beating up their wives. Are there no ways of addressing the issues other than going physical? Here are some excerpts of our findings. Mr Ogonna, a factory worker says “I have never hit my wife and I will never do so. But concerning this issue, I think some women are the cause of their problems. However, I don’t subscribe to beating a woman. Something happened in my neighborhood a few years ago. My neighbor almost killed the wife. The lady said they had an argument that evening about the TV. She was watching her favorite program when he came in and changed the channel to a sports one and asked her to go and watch the TV upstairs. She refused, grabbed the remote control and changed it back. That action earned her a hot slap. Guess what she did?She said it herself. She went into the kitchen,got a pestle and broke the TV set. She didn’t stop there. She started breaking glasses in the sitting room. The man did not wait for her to finish her assignment when he pounced on her and almost killed her. He actually left her lying in a pool of her blood till the next day when she was taken to the hospital. That was how the marriage ended. You see there are actions you should not take as a woman. The man was not respectful which was not good. But the woman was not mindful of her actions. I also know of a woman that has smashed parts of her husband’s car. She even went in and slammed the car against a wall. Not all men have the ability to watch their personal stuff being destroyed. It takes a strong man to ignore that woman.” According to Mr Oyebanjo, a business man, “I saw that video and I almost did not believe it was the same light complexioned lady in the other photograph. That man should be thoroughly dealt with. It is unacceptable. It is totally wrong. You do not hit a woman. There are ways you can handle a woman and she will be remorseful without hitting her. I know it takes a lot of patience to deal with women. I have three daughters and I will not tolerate that from any son-in-law. I will ensure he is locked up. As for me, I think it’s only a weakling and a coward that hits a woman. If you know you are still dealing with your temper and emotions, then stay away from marriage until you are sure you can handle what comes with it. Marriage is not for boys. I have been married for 18 years and I can tell you it takes a lot of patience to make it work. I really get angry about this whole thing. With this new law by the Lagos state government on Domestic Violence, I hope this issue will soon be addressed. I hope one of these wife beaters should be used as a scape goat. Then others will sit up and stop it. There are men who do not hit their wives. Mr Eni, a banker says the truth is I have actually slapped my wife once but that was a long time ago when we just got married. It has never happened again because I have learnt how to deal with her without raising my hands. This issue of domestic violence is that some women troublesome. Some of them should work on the way they treat a man. Some women emasculate their husbands and make them feel bad,especially those that earn more than their husbands or those who are the bread winners. Some of these men actually take out their frustration on their women not because they want to hurt them but to show that “I am still the man here”. My question to you journalists is….you guys should also look at women that beat up their husbands. Some men are dying in silence and shame. Nobody is speaking for them. Every time there is a case of domestic violence,every one blames the man. No one looks at what could have led to the beating. What did the woman say or do to the man?Do you know that a few years ago, my wife did something that almost ended our marriage. I came back home very late. She started nagging as usual which led to a heated verbal war. In anger l left the house. In her rage she brought out all my clothes,our wedding pictures and other personal effects and set them on fire. For me, that was the end. When I got back the following day,I just picked a few remaining stuff and left the house for seven months. I was living in the same town but I never spoke to her. It took her family,church leaders,members and everyone to beg me to take her back after she knelt down,cried and apologized. Now she has learnt her lessons. She is extremely careful and behaves like the good wife I married. The truth is men are going through a lot. But nobody will know because we are used to bottling up our emotions. Some women are the problems in their marriages. Some now even cheat with impunity and they think their husbands will not find out. Wow…from what we have gathered above,there is so much to this topic and it cannot be discussed in one piece. Next week we would look at it from the woman’s perspective and know the way forward. Agreed this issue has been over-flogged but it also getting worse by the day. So we have to continue talking about it until something is done. If you have something to share on this topic, feel free to send a mail to the email address above.